Second Child Season
Joshua is one-and-a-half years old or so now (or 19 months in pedantic parent speak) and my wife, Lauren, has started to sow seeds about having another. Yep, we’ve reached ‘Second Child Season’.
Some of my friends, who are also fellow Fathers, had warned me about Second Child Season. But I laughed it off, initially. I’ll explain why.
1) Our Child: The Owl
Joshua is akin to an owl which is being intravenously being pumped full of caffeine. Properly, legitimately nocturnal. He rarely sleeps an hour straight before waking up - multiple times every night - and acting as if it’s 7am already.
When he wakes up in the night, he acts is as if he’s slept 14 hours straight in the comfiest bed on the planet. And sometimes he might have only been asleep for 45-minutes since the last time he woke up.
It’s absolutely absurd. We’re both constantly, absolutely shattered. I’m sure you know the feeling. As parents, extreme exhaustion almost becomes the norm. Kind of.
But on a serious note, any less sleep than what we’re already getting surely wouldn’t be good for our physical and mental wellbeing? Come on! Surely?
Would it not be absolutely crazy to bring another child into the fold now, when the one that we do have simply does not sleep? I repeat, does not sleep.
I still don’t think you’re grasping how much he does not sleep.
2) Terrible Twos
Joshua has also recently reached the so-called ‘Terrible Twos’ stage, which I was a bit confused about when my wife explained his change in behaviour, because he’s not even two yet… (pardon my ignorance for thinking it was something that genuinely happened on the day of their second birthday, which the term ‘Terrible Twos’ indicates).
I digress. He’s a handful: a cute, wouldn’t-change-him-for-the-world type of handful, but a handful nonetheless. So much so that I need more hands - not more kids. For now.
Would it not be absolutely mental to bring another child into the fold now, when the one that we do have is going through the very testing ‘Terrible Twos’ phase?
3) The Wolfpack
I’m sure you have some stories, the type if you told your childless socialite friends about they’d probably disown you. Properly sopping-wet parent stories. We do. Lots of ‘em.
One such story is that, when Joshua was a few weeks old, Lauren and I - slumped on the sofa in a state of sleep-deprived delirium one Saturday afternoon while he was napping in his Moses Basket - watched The Hangover for the umpteenth time (great film).
Alan’s rendition of ‘We’re the three best friends that anyone could have’ is one of our favourite parts of the film. Later that evening, when Joshua was cranky after his nap, we started to randomly sing it to Joshua. He instantly stopped crying.
Since then, we’ve been the three best friends. The Wolfpack.
Now what I’m about to say might sound incredibly selfish. But do I really want to let anyone - anyone - into our Wolfpack just yet? Sorry, let me rephrase that: am I ready to let anyone into our Wolfpack just yet? More importantly, are we ready for it - all three of us?
We've been a trio for nearly two years, and we’ve inadvertently created this little bubble. I don’t we're ready for anyone or anything to burst our little bubble just yet.
Would it not be absolutely mental to bring another child into the fold now, when we’ve got a Wolfpack that Alan would be envious of?
Second Child Season is here. I’m living it. I’m definitely not saying we won’t have a second child - just not now.
Lauren might be starting to sow seeds about having another. But, I certainly won’t be forthcoming about sowing any of my seeds anytime soon.