Cock, Cock!

January 16, 2019
&Dad Life

Forget baby’s first word, what was the funniest thing your little one ever mispronounced when they first learned to talk? It was probably something pretty innocent. My now-not-so-little brother used to call a computer a ‘Copugit’.

Backtracking a little, it amazes me how kids learn to talk and communicate phonetically. Like, it genuinely blows my mind.

When Joshua first started to talk, I didn’t think too much about what he was actually achieving here. Being a parent, I guess an amalgamation of pride, admiration and sheer joy to see your little one developing as always front of mind. Rightly so.

But, have you ever stopped and given any thought to the gravity of what your little one is actually doing?

Look Who’s Talking

Sure, we all did it, way back when. One minute we couldn’t talk. The next minute, no-one could stop us talking. Our kids aren’t the first people on the planet ever to talk.

But, if you think about the feat that is learning to talk - really give it some thought - it’s pretty incredible.

One day, your parents are making these sounds with their mouths (what you’ll soon come to learn are ‘words’). Then, you’re kind of - somehow - miraculously making sense of some of the words. And then, further still, you’re not just understanding these ‘words’, you’re actually saying them out loud, in context, to communicate orally.

The human brain is outrageous. How does that even happen?

Science

OK, so you’ve definitely reached the conclusion that I’m not a Scientist. And I’m a little bit crazy. You’re right on both counts.

Yet, regardless, give the above five minutes of your day and prepare for your mind to be blown. It’s ridiculous how clever our children are. Similarly, it’s ridiculous how clever we were as children (even if, like me, we’re not oh-so clever now that we’re older and far less cute…).

But, I digress.

What I really wanted to talk about was hands-down the funniest thing Joshua mispronounced when he first started talking at about 18-months-old.

This Little Piggy

Joshua has always been obsessed with farm animals. Well, at least since we could clearly tell he started to get the gleam in his eyes when you absolutely, 100% knew as a parent he was understanding what was going on. And when he started to interact with toys.

He loved animals. He still does, at two-and-half-years old.

So, of course, as is any rite of passage for a new parent, you start with the farm animal noises.

Neighing. Mooing. Baaing. Clucking. Quacking. You name it, just like you, we did it. As time went on, Joshua did it too.

For the most part, he got each and every one absolutely spot on. For whatever reason, his favourite animal was a Pig. Thus, ‘Oink Oink’ was his go-to animal noise. Somewhat weirdly, for a few months he said it very clearly time, just like you or I would.

Then, one day, all of a sudden, everything changed.

Cock, Cock!

One Saturday morning, I was reading him a farm animal-themed book like we always did. But, this time was different.

“Oh, look! It’s a Piggy!”, I said. “What does a Piggy say?”, I asked.

He looked. He waited. And he thought. This was his favourite animal. His favourite sound. Why’s he putting so much thought into it this time?

Joshua waited some more. Then, with utmost conviction, he squealed: “COCK, COCK!”

Creased is what I was. A real-life LOL. Cock, Cock? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

To this day, we still have no idea why Joshua suddenly switched from Oinking like a pig perfectly… to giving it a more phallic twist. We’ll probably never know.

&DAD

A 28-year-old, new-to-Dad-blogging (but not new to blogging) bloke. I'm a full-time marketer by day and Chief Bottle Maker/Dish-Washing Extraordinaire by night.

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